


Nightly Conversation

by Daily



Series: A bond of family [23]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, Baking, Birthday, Cake, Conversations, Friendship, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Nightmares, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 18:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily/pseuds/Daily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unable to sleep Harry joins Sirius and Remus in the kitchen and learns more about them and his own past in a nightly conversation. There is baking involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightly Conversation

Sirius Black always had the reputation of being completely unpredictable. Whenever someone though they had figured the handsome boy out he'd do something to throw them off guard completely again, usually unconsciously too.

He had a way to surprise even those who knew him for years with ingenious pranks and his opinions of life. His unorthodox manner of duelling made many a foe underestimate his abilities until it was too late.

Sirius was many different things in the eyes of just as many different people.

But the one thing both allies and enemies agreed on without a doubt, was that Sirius Black was anything but predictable.

Being locked in Azkaban for twelve years had robbed him of many things; his unpredictability however was not one of them.

So Remus would not be able to say why he was so surprised to enter the kitchen in the middle of the night to find his old friend baking, but he was.

The dark haired male's sleeves were pushed up to above his elbows, revealing thin, pale and scarred arms covered in speckles of what looked to be chocolate cake mix, as he mixed something with his hands.

"Why are you baking?" Remus asked as he moved further into the kitchen to join his friend at the counter.

The bowl Sirius had been working with almost slipped from the counter as he was startled and only Remus' quick reaction prevented it from crashing to the ground.

"Moony! Don't sneak up on me."

Remus winced. He really should have known better than to move quietly around an un-expecting Sirius.

Even two years after escaping from that horrible prison the younger man was still jumpy at unexpected moments.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep and heard noise in here so I came to investigate."

"You startled me," Sirius admitted softly as he accepted the bowl back and continued mixing with his hands.

"You do realise that using magic would be a lot quicker right? Or even transfiguring a mixer?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not in a hurry, I don't expect Harry to show up for another hour or so and it is comfortable to work like this."

"You are baking for Harry?" Remus asked surprised.

"Who else would I be baking for in the middle of the night when it is not the night before the full moon?"

"Right, point taken. I'm just surprised to see you baking at all, you haven't done so in years," even as the words left his mouth he visibly winced and both stiffened at the remembrance of just why Sirius hadn't baked in years.

"Sorry," Remus apologised once more.

"Don't mention it," Sirius replied softly, an awkward silence falling between them as Sirius attacked the bowl a bit more fiercely than before.

Remus watched his friend in silence for a while as he bit on the inside of his cheek to not say something stupid again before he cleared his throat, wanting to break the silence between them.

"So, what is the occasion for which you are baking?"

"Harry's fifteenth birthday."

Remus blinked surprised. "Isn't Molly going to make a cake for him in the morning?"

"Probably," Remus frowned at the annoyed tone of voice Sirius uttered and he shifted his weight as he watched in silence as Sirius checked the texture of the mix before he spread it out into a form, sliding it into the oven once he was finished.

His friend stilled once the oven was closed, listening to the faint footsteps Remus could hear a floor or two up as someone entered the bathroom.

Sirius glanced at the clock with a small frown before he grabbed two pans.

"Chocolate or tea?"

Remus smiled. "Chocolate of course. As if I'd ever choose anything else when you are making it."

Sirius shot him a small smile; the first since their conversation had started as he poured a can of milk into one pan and filled the other with water.

He put both on the stove before he dumped a bar of chocolate into a small bowl, placing it onto the pan filled with water and stirred in it slowly.

Remus fiddled at his nails for a moment before he sighed. "So, what's the deal with the cake making if you know Molly will want to make one?"

"Do I really need to ask Molly's permission if I wish to bake my godson a cake for his birthday or give a reason?"

Remus opened his mouth to reply but snapped it shut again immediately before anything could come out. If Sirius wanted to make a cake for Harry's birthday then it was his good right, regardless of what Molly might feel Harry was Sirius' godson.

And if he was completely honest with himself he'd have to admit that he looked forward to a piece of Sirius' cake.

The dog Animagus' baking skills were legendary among the Marauders and other close friends.

Remus had been utterly surprised when Sirius had showed up in the hospital the morning after the full moon with a chocolate muffin in second year, shortly after finding out about his secret.

Naturally he'd been very suspicious, but he knew it wasn't in his friend's nature to play a prank on him when he was feeling unwell, especially not after a full moon when he knew Remus felt horrible.

It had been a pleasant surprise when not only he'd been right about the muffin not being a prank, but it had also been absolutely delicious and comforted his still healing body in ways only chocolate was capable of.

The young pure-blood's unexpected talent for baking was soon discovered by the others and although they teased him about it, Remus could always count on a homemade treat after the full moon.

How Sirius had discovered both his love for chocolate and the healing power it possessed against the darkness of the wolf Remus had never known, but he was tremendously grateful for the kind act.

James especially had taken immense pleasure in teasing them both about their small ritual, though he always tried to bribe Sirius into making some of his own favourite desserts.

In the later years, once the three had become Animagi, Sirius changed his nightly baking ritual to the night before, so that the treat would be ready ahead of time and Remus often snuck into the kitchen to watch him bake.

Partly because it was interesting to see Sirius bake and chat with the House-elves and partly because his friend always let him clear out the used bowl after he was done with it.

"Are you going to clean it out or should I just wash it off?"

"Huh?" Remus was pulled out of his thoughts to see Sirius hold out the bowl to him and Remus grinned as Sirius had unknowingly followed his trail of thoughts.

Snatching the bowl out of Sirius' hands he ignored the amused warm grey eyes as he swiped up some of the mix onto his finger before he put it into his mouth.

"For a moment I thought you were sick."

Remus smiled. "I was lost in thoughts."

"I noticed, I used to have to defend the bowl with threats and hits from the spatula from your eager fingers," Sirius answered dryly. "What were you thinking about?"

Remus took the last bit of mixture before he handed the bowl to Sirius so he could wash it off, taking his time to enjoy the taste before he answered.

"Chocolate treats and how some people almost begged on their knees to bribe you into making something for them."

"Who begged on his knees for something?" a new voice asked and Remus turned to see Harry walk into the kitchen while rubbing his eyes, holding his glasses in his free hand.

"You are early tonight," Sirius commented, not answering the question as he grabbed three mugs out of the cupboard and filled them with hot chocolate.

"Ron's snoring drove me insane," Harry grumbled as he put on his glasses again while sitting at the table, smiling at Sirius as the man placed a mug before him.

Sirius frowned as he placed the other two mugs on the table, too, and he and Remus both sat down.

"Between his snoring and your nightmares you hardly get any sleep at all."

"I don't really see any solution to it, Sirius," Harry sighed.

"Why don't you crash in my room? You would get some sleep then," Sirius offered.

Surprised Harry looked up to his godfather and Remus bit his lip to suppress a chuckle at the expression.

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't. And if it would make you uncomfortable to share a bed with me I could just crash with Remus," Sirius waved his concern off.

Harry's look of surprise only intensified and Remus was sad to see he was still so amazed at seeing Sirius' caring about him.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course," Sirius shrugged.

"Why?"

Sirius frowned. "Why not? You are our Harry."

Remus smiled how Sirius' simply answer seemed to confuse Harry even more.

"What Sirius is meaning to say is that you are part of our small family and family is there for one another in any way possible," he explained.

"So, if I'd rather have Sirius to leave his own room..." Harry trailed off.

"Then I will crawl in beside Remus, no problem," Sirius answered calmly.

"But wouldn't you be bothering him then?"

"I wouldn't mind Harry. I'm actually quite used to his company in my bed," Remus smiled.

Harry, who had been taking a sip of his chocolate, promptly choked on it as he turned an interesting shade of red at his words.

Remus frowned at his reaction, mentally going over what he had said before colouring too while Sirius choked on a laugh.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," Remus attempted to rectify his words but stumbled over them in his haste to explain.

Taking pity on his friend, Sirius smiled.

"Although we indeed often shared a bed it wasn't for the reason you are thinking of."

"Why else would you share a bed?" Harry asked curiously, his cheeks still burning.

"Nightmares. We both had our fair share of them and there is a lot of comfort in having someone close to you that you trust," Sirius explained.

Harry nodded, knowing the frightened and miserable feeling he always had after waking from a nightmare. It was part of the reason why he was always relieved to find Sirius in the kitchen with hot chocolate in the after-effects of one.

"Did..." Harry trailed of, biting his lip as he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know the answer to the question on his mind.

"Only occasionally, whenever Sirius got badly hurt. Beside that your dad rarely had nightmares. But he was always there when Sirius woke up from one," Remus answered his unspoken question before he gave a small smile.

"At the end of fifth year Sirius had so many nightmares that we eventually gave up on separate beds altogether. James and I would take turns to just crawl in beside him whenever we were going to bed and hold him close once the nightmares would hit."

"Only you and Dad?" Harry asked before he could stop himself.

"Peter always slept like the death. Actually I don't think he ever even discovered either of us had nightmares, let alone that we crawled into bed together for comfort after one," Remus noted and Sirius snorted.

"Fat chance, if we didn't wake him up before going for breakfast he'd have slept the entire day."

"Did it help to sleep in the same bed?" Harry asked, stirring the conversation away from the traitor again.

"It is amazing how much it helps to wake in the arms of someone who makes you feel safe after a terrifying dream," Sirius answered softly as he looked down at his cup.

"Why did you have so many nightmares?" Harry asked softly, truly curious to what might have scared his godfather as a teenager so much.

Sirius glanced at him surprised. "You really need to ask that after having seen what kind of people my relatives were?"

Harry swallowed as he bit his lip ashamed.

Sirius sighed before he affectionately brushed his arm against Harry's. "It is not bad to ask questions, Harry. I might not be happy to answer every one but I will always be fair in why I don't want to answer a question."

"My parents were horrible people, stuck up, sadistic and very cruel. They have never been happy with my opinions or actions, even as a toddler I was a disappointment in their eyes. And where some parents believe in raising their children differently despite their different beliefs, mine weren't like that," he sighed as he looked down at the empty cup he was swirling around in his hands.

"They believed that if a child did not act accordingly to their beliefs, the hard hand was the best way. Or in their case, inflicting pain to force the child into submission was their preferred method to handle disobedience."

"The beat you?" Harry asked shocked.

Sirius shrugged, not looking up. "They rarely laid a hand upon me, too Muggle-like in their minds, and they despised anything remotely Muggle. They preferred dark spells not unlike Crucio to get their point across."

Harry had known Sirius had never seen eye to eye with his parents and had run away. He had wondered why but had never worked up the courage to actually ask his godfather. But even in his deepest and darkest thoughts he had never imagined that.

"They tortured you?" he whispered as the disgust he felt for Sirius' mother ten-folded with the realisation of what kind of childhood his godfather had had.

Remus sighed when Sirius shrugged.

"When we found out in third year your father had a whole fit. Did everything he could to try and get Sirius the hell out of there."

"Then why didn't he?" Harry asked, feeling anger at his father for not helping his best friend when he had so clearly needed it. He knew his father hadn't done so or his godfather wouldn't have had to run away. He glanced at the scars on his godfather's arms and wrists and couldn't help but wonder if his parents had inflicted those on him, but found he couldn't get himself to ask.

"It is not that easy, pup. My family was the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. They were one of the most powerful and dark families that ever existed and pretty much on the top of the food chain in the Wizarding world. Many families married into the Black family, giving them even more political power," Sirius answered, only partly guessing Harry's thoughts.

"Although the Potters were a Noble and Ancient House they were viewed as blood traitors by most of the pure-bloods for being Muggle-friendly. It would have been political suicide if they had interfered in the personal affairs of the Black family."

He sighed as Harry looked at him in disbelief.

"If the Potters had tried to take me from my parents without their permission and without clear evidence, they would have lost any power they had in the Wizengamot. They'd have lost their seat and without it the fragile balance would have tipped over to the dark families, giving Voldemort free reign," Sirius placed his hand over Harry's, squeezing it lightly to comfort him.

"Even though they desperately wanted to help me, they couldn't. Not without risking everything they worked so hard to prevent."

"But didn't they do anything to help you?" Harry asked as he folded his hand around Sirius', thankful for the comfort. He wanted to stay mad; his family should have helped Sirius, regardless of the consequences.

But a small part of him, the part that thought things through rationally knew Sirius was right. His grandparents could not have risked it all for the sake of one boy, no matter how much they might have wanted to.

"They tried as much as they could. Inviting me over every summer, in ways that gave my parents little choice than to accept or they'd lose face. It forced them to let me go for a few weeks every summer holiday. They also send me little treats during the school year," Sirius smiled.

"Your dad especially worked really hard to learn as much healing spells as he could, Remus too. They usually helped me heal most of my wounds after each vacation and covered for me during the first weeks when I was still not completely well. Remus always took over my homework and James forced me to eat even when I didn't feel like it. They took really good care of me."

"But you eventually ran away," Harry frowned.

"Yes. When I was fifteen they went too far. I'd gotten a lot more powerful over the years, learning as much defensive spells as I could and Christmas Eve of fifth year we clashed. The result wasn't pretty but I managed to get away and ran to your dad's. Your grandparents immediately took me in; finally having what they needed to blackmail my parents into letting me go by presenting the evidence to my grandfather."

His grey eyes lifted from his cup to meet Harry's with a smile on his lips.

"Your family has been the second best thing that has ever happened to me."

Harry felt a lump form in his throat at the intense warmth displayed in his godfather's eyes when he spoke about Harry's family and he couldn't help but smile back at Sirius.

"What was the best thing that ever happened to you then?"

"Your birth," Sirius beamed at him and Remus chuckled as Harry blushed surprised.

Sirius cleared his throat and in an attempt to make Harry more comfortable he changed the subject.

"But we got off track; do you want to give sleeping in my room a chance?"

Harry ducked his head before he slowly nodded.

"Good. I'll grab my toothbrush before you go back to..."

"No! I mean...you don't have to crash with Remus. I ...uh...I don't mind you being in the bed with me," Harry stuttered as he felt himself colour even more.

Remus coughed to hide a chuckle before raising his cup to hide his amused expression. It was rather endearing to see Harry so flustered.

Sirius smiled. "Okay. But I will sleep as Padfoot on the bed edge then. That might be a bit less awkward, don't you think?"

He winked as Harry smiled with a nod.

"Probably, thanks."

"Any time, pup."

Harry chuckled. "Why do you do that? I've been wondering but the two of you call me pup or cub on occasion."

Remus and Sirius shared a glance before they both smiled.

"It is a pack thing for me. I'm a werewolf and instinctively I've always seen Sirius and James as pack mates. Lily too. You being their son automatically translated you to the pack's cub in my sub consciousness and sometimes it slips out."

Harry nodded at the explanation as it made sense. He turned to Sirius who laughed embarrassed.

"It is a bit more intimate for me. The moment we learned Lily was pregnant you were family to me. I've always seen James as my brother and once they started dating Lily became my sister. But it wasn't until the moment you were born and I held you as you took your first breaths that I realised you were mine. Sure, you were their child, but I have always loved you as my own. And because of Padfoot that got translated into pup. You were so precious."

Sirius' expression and grey eyes radiated warmth as he was clearly lost in the memory.

Harry felt his heart jump at the obvious love and devotion in his godfather's expression. From the bottom of his heart Sirius truly loved him unconditionally, and that realisation filled Harry with so much happiness.

"You were there when I was born?" he asked, swallowing to remove the new lump forming in his throat.

If anything his godfather's expression became even warmer as his grey eyes shone.

"Yeah, I was actually the one who brought you into the world. Your dad had gotten hurt on an Order mission and was at St. Mungo's. Your mum was heavily pregnant but insisted on visiting him so I took her through the Muggle entrance for your and her safety. Except the elevator broke down between two floors and we were stuck. You chose that moment that you wanted to come out and Lily's water broke," Sirius laughed.

"There was no choice but to get you there and when she went into labour shortly after. I had just placed you in your mum's arms when they finally managed to break the doors open and your father stood there, shakily and absolutely gobsmacked. He couldn't stop staring at you and when you were placed into his arms; his face broke into the most amazing smile I'd ever seen on him. Even more brilliant then when Lily finally said yes to a date with him."

"Why didn't they use magic to open the doors? Harry asked, awed about hearing of his birth and immense happy to learn his godfather had been there.

"There are wards on the elevators so that in case of an attack they can hide patients in there and move them to safety. The wards are powerful enough that they cannot be taken down easily. No one knew why they elevators broke down as they shouldn't have been able to, but somehow they did."

"It took them three hours to break through the ward defences and enter the elevator," Remus commented with a chuckle. "Your dad spend all that time in front of the door pacing as we heard your mum scream and Sirius urging her on. But they couldn't hear him through the wards."

"He heard your first wail through the doors moments before they opened and the moment his arms wrapped around you was the most beautiful moment of his life," Sirius smiled.

Harry fought back happy tears as he smiled brightly. "And Mum?"

Sirius chuckled. "She spend most of the time screaming things at me that I hadn't even heard of before. Scared the crap out of me when she threatened to do certain things to me while it wasn't even my fault she was pregnant. But when you gave that first wail she became the proudest and happiest woman in the world. Neither of them could stop staring at you."

Remus chuckled. "Neither could you. I took the magical entrance to get James ready, wanting to surprise Lily with the fact that he was allowed to go home with her. So I was present when James placed you in his arms, saying his godfather should be the first to hold you. Sirius' torso, arms and pants were covered in blood from the delivery, but when he cradled you into his arms he was staring at you like you were the single most beautiful thing he had ever seen."

"You were, still are," Sirius added quietly as his eyes shone even more.

Harry beamed back to him, not as embarrassed anymore by the display of love.

He was rapidly becoming used to being so loved by the two men before him so it didn't make him feel as uncomfortable anymore.

It was weird, Harry always believed male adults didn't show emotions, other than the anger Uncle Vernon and Snape always displayed.

But spending more and more time with his godfather and Remus told him that was not entirely true, at least not with him. Neither was afraid to show what they were feeling and it comforted Harry in ways he couldn't describe to see the open love and affection in their eyes and displayed on their faces.

The moment was broken by a bell softly going off and Sirius blinked before he quickly moved from the table.

"Whoops, almost forgot."

"I didn't know you could bake," Harry commented as he sniffed the air. "That smells good."

"He's brilliant at it, quite a good cook too, actually. When he was staying with your parents and you they always tried to make him cook."

"You weren't any better, Moony," Sirius accused him as he placed the cake onto the table and poured some icing over it after tapping it with his wand to cool it off immediately.

"True, I am a decent cook, but not half as brilliant as your godfather is. I usually simply waited for him to come home before having dinner," Remus admitted.

"You lived together?"

"Yes, after graduating from Hogwarts it was hard to find a place to live. People don't easily rent out to werewolves. Sirius had gotten a place of his own shortly before and invited me to stay with him for a while. Only a while became kind of permanent. I kept swearing I'd find a place soon until he shut me up and bribed me into living with him permanently. Though he hardly ever came home again once you were born," Remus laughed at Harry's questioning expression and decided to elaborate.

"Often you wouldn't fall asleep unless Sirius was there. Your parents tried all the tricks they could think of but you'd be calmest when Sirius was there. He tried to leave once you'd fallen asleep but if you woke up and he wasn't there you'd cry until James finally begged Sirius to return."

Sirius laughed. "Or you'd simply refused to go to sleep at all, knowing I would leave when you did. I can't even remember how often I spent the night driving through the streets or flying around on my motorbike while you were asleep in my arms."

"How did Mum and Dad handle me if Sirius was unavailable then?" Harry asked, torn between being mortified at being such a disastrous child and curiosity.

"It didn't happen often, but the few times he was on mission for the Order they used special methods to contact each other," Remus answered and Sirius laughed.

"I almost blew a mission when you called me on your first birthday. I wasn't supposed to come due to a mission being delayed but when you called I couldn't get it over my heart not to go. You kept calling me to go follow you while you flew on your first toy broom."

"James was glad for the moment of rest though. He'd been spending hours chasing you on your toy broom and was happy to have Sirius do the same for the gift he was responsible for in the first place."

Sirius smiled. "Your mum wrote me a letter about it; she had just sent it away by owl when I arrived unexpectedly. I should have the picture laying around here somewhere."

"How? You ran away when you were fifteen," surprised Harry looked at Sirius.

"I kept precious things in my Vault, including all my photos. It was a precaution in case Death Eaters attacked. Your family Vault should have loads of the personal items of your parents, too. You'll be able to enter it once you turn seventeen since I can't exactly take you there before."

"So...there will be photos of my parents there?" Harry asked hopeful for more things of his family.

"Yes, from when they were both young until shortly before they died. And loads of personal items too, diaries and stuff like that. Your mum kept a diary while she was pregnant with you. It should be in there too," Sirius confirmed.

"And I can enter it when I turn seventeen?" Harry asked happily.

"Yes, that is when your trust vault disappears and I'm supposed to give you your family Vault key."

"You have my key?"

"One of them. Normally a family Vault can only be entered by the Head of House and his family. Your grandfather gave me access when they basically adopted me as their son so that I could always take money if I wanted to buy something. Beside school supplies I never did, but the option was mine."

Sirius smiled again.

"After you were born James made it official that I could always enter the Potter Vaults as your guardian, even if I'd lose my access upon their unexpected deaths. He had a third key made by the Goblins so that as long as you were underage I could take care of business for you without the Goblins causing trouble," he explained.

"Normally when a Head of House passes away and the Heir is underage, the Goblins hold onto the key. Only the trust Vault key is given out to a guardian," he added upon seeing the question on Harry's lips.

"So is that why Dumbledore had my trust Vault key? Because he became my guardian after you were imprisoned?" Harry asked.

Sirius snorted. "No, he must have taken the key from my belongings when I was arrested. Dumbledore was and never will be your guardian. Your parents only named me as your guardian in case something happened to them, but I had named people, too, for the same reason. I told you before that Dumbledore had no right to put you with the Dursleys, as he was not your guardian. And the list of people I had named was not completely unavailable, so he is really lucky I can't have him be arrested for breaking a Will."

"Who did you name to look after me if something happened to you?" Harry asked, curious to who Sirius would have trusted enough to look after him.

"Remus would have been my first choice, though I knew it was likely the Ministry wouldn't let him due to his lycanthropy. My cousin Andromeda was second and third was Minerva McGonagall. She would have been able to tell you a lot of stories about your family, make sure Remus was involved in your life and would have raised you well."

"Professor McGonagall? Seriously?" Harry asked horrified as he thought of the stern professor.

Sirius grinned. "Yes. Under all that rough exterior and strictness she is actually a very kind woman. She was a close friend of your grandparents, so we often saw her outside of school. She is one of the few people I trust unconditionally."

Harry smiled. "When you had just escaped, I had snuck into Hogsmeade and overheard her talking with some other about you. She said she couldn't believe you had done what they said you had. Rosmerta too."

Sirius frowned. "Rosmerta? I haven't seen her in ages, you hated her guts."

"I did?"

"Oh you did. You were absolutely smitten with your Siri. Made quite a few shop owners and cashiers in the supermarket go all googly eyes on you both as you'd glare really adorably if anyone so much as dared to smile at Sirius. Rosmerta has the habit of flirting with every handsome young man and Sirius and your dad both qualified. You would glare at her whenever we stopped at the Three Broomsticks," Remus laughed.

"You didn't care that she flirted with your dad but the moment she would turn to Sirius you would glare at her and hold onto him tightly, saying 'My Siri!' It was really adorable."

Sirius chuckled. "I remember that. You would do that every time someone tried to chat me up."

"I did? What did they say to that?" Harry asked amused.

"There was little they could say as Sirius' answer basically made every living being swoon at his feet in adoration."

"It wasn't that bad," Sirius argued.

"It was," Remus shot back.

"What did he say then?" Harry asked, noticing Sirius' growing smile and Remus' twinkling eyes.

"Yours." They answered at the same time and Remus laughed again.

"No one was allowed to come near him outside the Potters and me. Not even Moody or Dumbledore were allowed to come within touching range or you would use magic to drive them away."

"Even Peter?"

"Especially Peter. You would get hysterical if he came too close to Sirius or you. Like you knew he was bad news. Wouldn't stop screaming if he tried to pick you up, throwing a defensive shield around you and Sirius when he did."

"A defensive shield?" Harry asked confused.

"James and Sirius spend months teaching you a small Protego charm, so that if something would happen you could protect yourself. Only you mostly used it to keep people you didn't like away from Sirius. You were so possessive of him, which only intensified after the incident."

"Incident?" Harry asked, awed to learn his father and godfather had tried to teach him magic like that to protect him from harm.

"When you were a little over a year old Sirius was babysitting you when Death Eaters attacked our apartment. It terrified me when I returned home that evening and saw the Dark Mark above the building. There was no sign of either of you, though there was a clear sign of a struggle and our wards were torn apart," Remus shuddered as he remembered coming home to that sight and Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly and Remus shot him a fleeting smile in thanks.

"James and Sirius had arranged that if there was ever trouble they would Apparate to Potter Manor, where your grandparents lived, as a safe haven. But by the time the Order arrived at the Manor both your grandparents were already dead and Sirius had been tortured for hours by Death Eaters."

Remus had to swallow before he could continue.

"We managed to drive them away quickly enough, but there was no sign of you anywhere. Your parents were beside themselves with fear as Sirius was not coherent enough to say more than that you were in a safe location. We didn't realise what he meant until Lily mentioned Potter Manor should have been a safe location. That's when James realised what he had meant and led us to the hallway, though a hidden room that your grandfather had made for Sirius. A place he could go to if he ever got scared. James and he called it their safe location. Upon entering you were indeed there, scared and hungry but completely unharmed. After that you refused to let Sirius out of your sight, afraid he'd disappear again."

Sirius chuckled. "You shared that opinion with James. He practically demanded that I'd move in with the three of you for a while to recover from my injuries since Remus was mostly away on missions anyway. We had loads of fun together while I stayed with you."

Harry gave a small smile before he frowned.

"You almost died to protect me, didn't you?"

"I would do anything to keep you safe, pup. If that means giving up my life then I would do it in a heartbeat," Sirius replied honestly.

"I know, but you openly tried to protect me despite what they did to you. How could anyone believe you would have ever betrayed my family while they knew that?"

"I don't know. I would have rather died than betraying your parents or you and I thought everyone knew that."

"It were difficult times and no one was entirely sure who they could and couldn't trust. Looking back I still wonder how I could have ever believed Sirius to have been the traitor despite all I knew about him. But then I questioned myself to why I believed him to be the spy and the reasons I came up with were weak at best."

"What did you come up with?" Harry asked, wanting to know what had made Remus doubt one of his closest friends.

"As time passed by Sirius got fairly distant from me while we used to be very close. He'd spent more and more time away from home without saying where he went, something I now realise had to do with secret missions for the Order. Dumbledore ordered us not to speak to anyone about what we did, not even to each other. Just in case a spy would try to get information. We didn't realise that the same precaution made us wary of each other because of the secrecy," he cleared his throat.

"I also suspect Peter played a big part in it. Little things he said about Sirius that didn't add up and caused me to question him, despite knowing better. Like he'd seen Sirius at a location where known Death Eaters had been around the same time. I didn't know he was on missions during those times and believed the worst. And last of all I am very much ashamed to say I started to see Sirius as a Black and not as the boy I'd always known and trusted."

Remus looked up to Sirius with tears in his eyes. "I truly am sorry for ever doubting you, despite that I should have known better."

Sirius sighed before he placed his hand on Remus', squeezing it when Remus held it for a moment. He swallowed before slowly nodding.

"We were both at fault. I never took into account that you had always followed the rules where possible and would take precautions seriously. James and I always told each other where we were going, regardless of Dumbledore's orders," he paused, hesitating but Remus interrupted him before he could say more.

"And the fact that I am a werewolf and the Death Eaters were recruiting them didn't help either."

Sirius frowned.

"I would have never thought you to be a spy because of that. If anything that would have kept you from turning. You knew what the Slytherins thought of werewolves and in their eyes lesser creatures. You fought me on every little thing I ever tried to do for you, too much darn proud for your own good. Moony would never be the reason you would turn traitor."

Harry glanced at Remus as he looked at Sirius in shock, clearly not having expected that answer at all.

"We were a bunch of fools," he finally whispered and Sirius nodded.

"We were and we paid dearly for it."

They fell quiet for a few moments as Sirius put the finishing touches to the cake he'd been absentmindedly icing and decorating before he stood up to collect something from a drawer.

"But enough small and depressing talks, close your eyes pup," he ordered and Harry did what he asked without hesitation.

Sirius quickly passed Remus some candles which they quickly put onto the cake before Sirius lightened them with a gesture of his hand, using wandless magic to do so.

He nodded to Remus as he sat down again and together they softly sang the tunes of the birthday song, making Harry open his eyes surprised before he blinked upon seeing the burning candles on the cake.

"The cake was meant for me?" he asked awed.

"Of course, who else is turning fifteen today?" Sirius asked as he wrapped Harry into a short hug, placing a kiss in his hair. "Happy birthday, now blow out your candles and make a wish."

Harry answered his hug, swallowing thickly before accepting a hug from Remus too and then glancing back at the cake.

"You didn't have to go through so much trouble."

Sirius shrugged. "I wanted to. And I'm aware that I don't really know you as well as I should have liked to know you, but you used to love this specific cake when you were little so I'm secretly hoping you still like chocolate."

"I do...thank you, both of you," Harry said once he'd whipped away a few happy tears.

"I did..." Remus wanted to object that he hadn't helped at all but Sirius interrupted him.

"We were delighted to make it for you. Now make that wish," Sirius said eagerly before beginning the tunes of the birthday song again, Remus quick to join him.

Laughing Harry took a deep breath before blowing the candles out...only to find out they didn't go out at all. Sirius and Remus both snickered as he attempted to blow them out twice more.

"Very funny you two," Harry mock glared at them before he chuckled.

"Oh come on...how could we possibly resist?" Sirius grinned as he gestured over the candles again and this time when Harry blew at them they went out immediately.

"We are Marauders after all," Remus added with a wink.

Harry smiled before taking the knife Sirius handed him.

"How about you share a piece with us, birthday boy?" he asked as he placed three plates down and Harry carefully cut a piece onto each plate before picking up his fork.

"Mrs. Weasley is going to have a nervous breakdown when she learns we are eating cake in the middle of the night," he noted with amusement.

"Tough luck for her then that this is our house and our rules apply isn't it?" Sirius answered calmly.

Our house.

Harry couldn't help but beam at the words Sirius said so casually.

"You know she will be mad at you tomorrow, right?" Harry asked just to be sure Sirius knew what he was getting himself into. Mrs. Weasley's temper was widely known in most of the Wizarding world, and although that temper had never been directed at him he knew she often directed it at his godfather.

"When isn't she mad at him?" Remus asked.

"True, she thinks I am irresponsible, shouldn't be trusted and a danger to your safety because I don't believe in wrapping you in wool and keeping you out of the loop," Sirius said, not looking the least bit bothered.

"Aren't you the least bit afraid of her temper? Almost everyone is."

Remus snorted and Sirius' only answer was a wide smile that looked a tiny bit on the insane side if Harry was completely honest with himself.

"What?"

"Sirius was given a lecture by McGonagall on an almost daily basis, which often started with her screaming his name throughout the Great Hall, along with your father of course, before she dragged them off to her office to lecture them."

"Professor M got quite scary when James and I truly pissed her off," Sirius commented with such a joyful expression that Harry couldn't help but snicker.

"I think the major reason why Molly makes absolutely no impression on him is because of his mother. I only had the displeasure of truly meeting that hag once when she showed up at Hogwarts after Christmas in fifth year after Sirius had ran away. She caught him by surprise and cornered him in the great hall, screaming his ears off about what a disgrace he was and how much of a blood traitor and that the family would forever be disgraced because of his actions," Remus grinned.

"And Sirius just stood there before he silenced her when she insulted the Potters and he basically told her she was an old disgusting hag not worth his attention. And that if she wanted to open that big mouth of hers then she should go find her son to yell at because Sirius was not interested in the words of a creature he would be ashamed to be associated with. He then spelled her to eat soap because any mouth that spoke words like Mudblood and blood traitor could use a bit of a mouth cleaning in his opinion and who knew, it might even clean some of the filth and stench away from her ugly inbred mug. Turned his back on her after that and almost happily skipped away to go to us, leaving her standing there, surrounded by half of the school."

Sirius burst out in laugher as Harry stared at him in utter shock and Remus tried but failed to keep a straight expression.

"I'd forgotten about that. Indeed a good reason why Molly fails to impress me," Sirius managed to get out before snickering again as Harry couldn't stop staring at him with an open mouth.

"You said all that to her face in front of a full Great Hall?"

Sirius shrugged. "She didn't have the decency to yell at me in private so I didn't see why I shouldn't give her the same luxury."

"You are insane!"

"So I've been told by a variety of people over the years," Sirius said dryly and Remus chuckled.

"Absolutely mad. It is just a shame that he's so absolutely brilliant and clever to combine with that madness. Often us Marauders had to fear for our own sanity if he got an idea he wished to follow."

"Such as?"

"Learning to drive a bike, breaking into Filch's office to paint everything pink, teaching us to drive a car, and stealing Dumbledore's candy."

"You stole Dumbledore's candy?"

"Yes, it really wasn't all that hard. The password to his office was always based upon some kind of candy so it was just a matter of guessing the right one and trying to enter undetected by the Gargoyles and getting out of there again the same way. Fawkes actually helped me once when I got cornered when Dumbledore unexpectedly returned early from a diversion James had set up elsewhere in the castle to lure him out. Grabbed me and in a flash I was back in Gryffindor Tower, the bag filled with his candy stock in my hands," Sirius grinned.

"We had loads of fun displaying small parts of that stock at various areas in the castle for him to find again. Of course we had to time it perfectly with the Marauder Map so that we'd be sure Dumbledore was the one who'd find it and not someone else."

Remus snickered. "I was absolutely terrified when the Headmaster picked up his lemon drops and his beard and hair turned blue. Not to mention the colour rainbow they turned when he put a candy into his mouth after testing it with his wand for spells. Awestruck, but terrified he'd know we were responsible."

"How could he not have known? Although he's never been able to prove it was us since we were smart enough to not change him into Gryffindor colours like Peter wanted. He was fun to try and throw pranks at because he took usually took it into stride. McGonagall however was not as amused when we'd prank her. I remember she got especially mad when we charmed a bunch of fishes to swim around her head for a couple of hours one day."

"How did you ever survive long enough to become adults?" Harry asked awed at their nerves.

"We never played pranks that would actually hurt people. Changed them different colours, we make them sing opera style for a full day once after James' parents had taken Sirius to see one. Had the entire school talk in limericks or gave various students different body parts and stuff like that," Remus shrugged before he smiled.

"Once Sirius accidentally changed James into a bird. James had been annoying us by singing love songs for Lily on Valentine's Day all day. And Sirius eventually snapped at him that if he wanted to sing he should have become a bird. And while he was speaking James suddenly turned into one. It was quite hilarious and to this day I still do not know who was more shocked. James in his bird form or Sirius at having changed him."

"Didn't Sirius mean to change him into one?" Harry asked surprised.

"No, he hadn't been holding his wand and hadn't even thought of a spell to use wandless magic and yet James was a bird. James was as perplexed as Sirius was once we finally managed to change him back again. He did say he had a lot of fun sitting on Sirius' shoulder all day, twittering and singing in his ear."

Sirius laughed. "We never did figure out how I'd managed to do it. I was too old to be using accidental magic and even for wandless magic I would have needed to at least think of an incantation. And James was absolutely sure it had been my magic that changed him."

He shook his head with a smile. "McGonagall tried to help us change him back but she couldn't undo what I had done. Professor Flitwick was eventually the one who suggested that I should think of James in his human form and that did the trick."

They shared a chuckle as Harry tried to imagine his father as a bird.

"I bet you have millions of stories like that."

"If I can access the Black Vaults I could actually show you those memories. And maybe I can locate a Pensieve here somewhere too."

"That would be great," Harry smiled happily.

"But that is for later; let's first eat this cake before turning in for some more sleep, shall we?" Remus suggested and Harry nodded before taking a bite of his cake. He chewed on it before the taste reached his senses and he swallowed quickly.

"Wow! This is really good!" he exclaimed and Sirius smiled.

"Thanks, I'm glad you like it."

"I do! I thought I'd never find any cake that could beat Mrs. Weasley's but this is so much better than any cake she ever made."

Sirius flushed. "I'm not that good."

"You are!" Harry and Remus argued at the same time and Sirius backed away with his hands raised.

"And you have to teach me how to make this," Harry added.

"Sure," Sirius readily agreed.

"Does that mean that I can play guinea pig?" Remus asked eagerly, making the other two laugh before they nodded and ate their cake in a comfortable silence.

Once they were all done Sirius took their places, cleaning them up while Remus put the rest of the cake into the fridge.

"We will give you your birthday present tomorrow, for now you really need to get some more sleep or I'm certain we will all get some infamous Weasley temper thrown at us if we all fall asleep during your party," Remus smiled.

Sirius and Harry snickered and Sirius threw his arms around Harry from behind. "I will just hide behind Harry."

"Coward," Harry accused teasingly.

"Maybe, but if I don't occasionally hide behind you I might just end up strangling her. This is the safest for her," Sirius answered easily, snuggling against Harry.

Harry leaned back into his hug, knowing that he should probably feel uncomfortable being hugged by someone as he wasn't very used to people hugging him outside Hermione and occasionally Mrs. Weasley. But somehow he didn't mind it when Sirius hugged him.

It made him feel safe and content and from the soft hum Sirius unconsciously produced he knew Sirius was happy to be hugging him too, just holding him close.

Maybe it was partly because he had just learned just how deeply his godfather cared about him or maybe it was because he loved his godfather deeply, too. At any rate, Harry felt completely content as he let out a yawn.

Sirius moved his arms from Harry's waist to put them on his shoulders and turned him towards the stairs. "Bedtime," he said softly and Remus, who had been calmly leaning against the wall beside them shifted as he straightened at Sirius' words.

Harry only had a moment to realise he wasn't embarrassed to have been hugged by his godfather while Remus watched when he was suddenly picked up.

"Sirius!" he called out as Sirius picked him up bridal style and Harry automatically flung his arms around his neck to get a grip.

"Oh, so you haven't fallen asleep on me after all," Sirius teased as he shifted him a bit higher in his arms and tickled his side.

"Put me down," Harry laughed as he squirmed away from Sirius' tickling fingers while Remus laughed at them.

"No. It won't do to have you fall down the stairs in your sleepy state," Sirius informed him cheerily as he began to walk up the many flights of stairs, his arms firmly around Harry as if he was going to fall if he loosened his grip slightly.

Harry smiled before he simply held onto Sirius, letting his godfather carry him up the stairs like a small infant. He was too tired to argue and he didn't really mind Sirius being openly affectionate and caring.

He figured that while he himself had not known much love in his childhood, Sirius' youth would only have been worse and Harry vaguely wondered if the occasional touch Remus and he himself shared with his godfather were the only human touches he'd received since escaping.

Sirius always seemed like such a strong and somewhat distant person. Harry didn't have a single memory of Sirius ever touching anyone beside the two of them and he decided that he really should be more openly affectionate with Sirius.

Even if they were in company.

After all, even if the others would laugh because of it, should he really care what they thought? People always gossiped about him anyway, no matter what he did and it would be nice to be this close to Sirius more often. His godfather was always there for him every night when he woke up from nightmares.

Come to think of it, Sirius was always in the kitchen when Harry stumbled downstairs, no matter what time it was.

And in the aftermath of what he had learned about his godfather today, it wasn't that unbelievable to think the man had nightmares of his own that prevented him from a good night of sleep.

If he had so many nightmares as a teenager then it only stood to reason that those multiplied after twelve years in Azkaban. So not only for his own benefit but also that of his godfather Harry knew he would like to make an attempt to be more openly affectionate.

Especially since Sirius himself had said it helped a lot to be wrapped in the arms of someone you loved.

He got pulled out of tired thoughts by the feeling of being put down on a bed, Sirius' bed to be exact and he realised he had closed his eyes somewhere along the way.

He was about to open them again but decided they were too heavy when he felt Sirius loosely tuck him in and removing his glasses before a soft kiss was pressed to his forehead and Sirius' weight disappeared from the bed completely.

He felt content and he didn't want to fight his heavy eyes on the off chance that this was all a happy dream and he'd wake up on his small bed beside Ron again.

He heard Sirius and Remus converse softly before the door closed and he believed himself to be alone.

His heart clenched at the thought, he didn't want Sirius to leave.

But before the thought could truly take shape enough for him to panic he heard the sound of Sirius as he shifted into Padfoot and the weight on the bed dipped a little as Padfoot curled up on the bed end and a small weight settled on Harry's lower legs, telling him Padfoot rested his head there.

The contact was comforting and Harry let himself slide into a content sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Padfoot applied as he lay curled up against his legs.

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a sequel to Home as there is a slight mentioning of that story in here, but other than that it stands alone.  
> This story involves my take on Sirius’ childhood. I have no clear evidence any of this truly happened but from what we learn from the books, this is my believe.
> 
> It takes place in the summer before fifth year.
> 
> Warnings: I rated it T for safety reasons. It contains mentioning’s of torture and death and what some people might find strong language.  
> The POV in this story switches a lot between Remus and Harry without clear warning. I apologize for that, when I tried to change it the story wouldn’t flow like I wanted it to anymore so I decided to leave it intact.
> 
> Contains slight Molly and Dumbledore bashing but nothing too big.  
> This is written as friendship but can be seen as light slash between Sirius and Remus if you please.


End file.
